🔗 Share this article Balancing the Desire for Casual Encounters Whilst Pursuing a Meaningful Relationship Being a gay man approaching 50, I’ve spent numerous, mostly enjoyable years pursuing casual sex with other men since the age of 19. During my fourth decade, I had a committed partnership which continued for four years, but it never fully satisfied me, in that I didn't experience love or intimately fulfilled. The fact is that my constant desire has been for casual sex. Every time I begin to date a potential partner, once the newness dwindles, an impulse arises to be intimate with other men again. Reflecting on the Feasibility of Monogamy Currently, I'm contemplating if I’ll ever be able to maintain a faithful partnership. I understand that many homosexual males have open relationships, yet from my observations, they appear demanding, frequently resulting in lots of pain and jealousy among all parties. In many ways, I want another man to care for me while allowing me to pursue other intimacies, however I fear the emotional drain this might create. Should I just keep having casual sex and accept that a lasting partnership may be unattainable? I’m feeling a bit lost. Each individual's intimate path fluctuates. Avoid considering about what you require in partnerships or your capacity to handle different types of intimate connections in a finite way. What you need as you are experiencing them now could easily shift down the road; at a certain time you might become more decisive and discover some clarity and a comfortable path … or not. One day you might meet a person offering a life-changing chance to you through mirroring your desires in a holistic fashion … and at another point you may choose that casual connections are best for you. Fretting over what lies ahead and engaging in endless speculation is merely rooted in fear and squandering of your energy. Try to be present with your partners, and recognize the value of every individual you connect with intimately a sexual connection. When and if you are ever ready to deepen genuine closeness with one partner, it will be clear. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a American therapy professional focusing on addressing intimacy issues.